Today I saw this Instagram video and the comment section just made my head explode.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJTXEX7OsMq/
Person A: Oh, I love your tattoos!
Person B: Uhhhh, okay?
Person A: …Actually, they’re UGLY!
So, obviously, I would never go straight to that third line there. But I believe very strongly that Person B’s response is rude, and not in line with appropriate social behavior in public.
We are all humans together in this world. As the meme goes, we live in a society. And like the concept of small talk, small interactions like this are the grease in the gears that helps make everything better and more smooth.
Carolyn Hax recently called the opposite behavior (like saying “uhh, okay” to a compliment) “a lye bath in the gears” (because it strips out the grease, and I think that’s an apt description.
Of course you don’t “owe” anyone anything. Technically, no one owes anyone anything ever unless explicitly agreed to. But I, for one, do not want to live in that shitty Ayn Rand-esque universe of Emotional Libertarianism. I want there to be a baseline level of connection and communication with my fellow humans, out there in society.
So. For your “how to human” script, here is how a good interaction goes:
Person A: Hey, I really like your tattoos/hair/T-shirt! (Nothing about their body shape or body parts. Hair does not count as a body part.)
Person B: Thank you!
That’s it. That’s the script. After this interaction, they both go on about their day. It is not appropriate, as strangers, to try to force a more intimate interaction; but this much is fine and appropriate.
Emilybook 