Category: Concepts

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Romance vs Platonic Love

So, I don’t intend to wade into aro-ace discourse here. My opinions are my own and I’m afraid of Tumblr.

But yesterday I had this really cool metaphor finally finish working its way through my head, and that is: Romantic relationships are to Friendships as Petals are to Leaves.

I remember back in 9th grade biology, learning that petals are just hyper-specialized leaves. They develop with different pigments and shapes and so forth, to serve a different purpose in the plant, but they’re the same homologous structure as a leaf.

And that’s how I think I view romantic relationships. They’re like friendships, but hyper-specialized.

It’s hard to explain “what makes a relationship Romantic” when you take sex out of the equation. To the point that I do sometimes think I might be aromantic, or demi-romantic.

But I do very much appreciate the relationships that rise to the level of Romantic, so it’s not that it never happens! It’s just…I don’t know?

Just muddling through, trying to figure myself out. 😊

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Monopoly as an analogy

Today I saw this Instagram video about Monopoly as an analogy to redlining and white privilege in America, and it really stuck with me.

Standard note that intersectionality is a thing and race is just one of many axes of privilege/oppression! (Anyone reading this probably knows that already, but just in case.)

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Disability and the Bicycle Effect

https://www.instagram.com/p/DaBpswdkZhg/

This Instagram post about disability (by Elora and the One Room Schoolhouse) was really thought provoking. The gist is that more people with disabilities are surviving now, and we have more assistive tech (the Bicycle, in this metaphor), so disabled people are more visible than ever; but it’s important to not assume that the tech means they have no problems at all.

My take is that this is related to the medical/social model, a little bit. There’s this idea in the Social Model that “if society just adjusted enough, disability wouldn’t be disabling.” But that is simply not true. Someone with chronic pain would still be in pain, no matter how much paid sick leave they get.

(This is only the most extreme end of the Social Model, thankfully. It’s still a useful model for thinking about things; it’s just not sufficient by itself. Disability is both social and medical.)

Anyway. Just wanted to link to that Bicycle Effect post.

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Throw back the dead man’s coin

I just shared my bitter brew post with a new person, and it reminded me of this amazing Wondermark comic.

https://wondermark.com/c/1135/

Because yes. If we did want equality of opportunity, not equality of outcome, we would not have inheritance.

For that matter, we couldn’t even let children be raised by their parents! Even aside from the money issue (already solved in our Glorious Meritocratic Utopia), parents are of varying quality. My parents gave me unconditional love and support (even though we’ve had our arguments), while other parents are abusive.

So we would need a robotic state crèche for all the children to grow up in, to make sure their Equality of Opportunity Not of Outcome stays equal.

Do you hear how absurd that sounds? Do you WANT to end up in Harrison Bergeron? Or in Anthem? (As a side note, I read those two stories around the same time in high school, and woweee did I not realize the authors were very different until adulthood. Still the only Rand book I’ve read.)

Anyway. “Equality of Opportunity” is an impossibility. The best we can do is to stay mindful of the inequalities that do pop up, and try our best to mitigate them. It won’t be perfect but we can do our best.

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Insightful thread about poverty and the middle class

I read this Bluesky thread this morning (lost the link) and I think the author has summarized middle-class well. It’s the ability to afford basic necessities and even a few luxuries without stressing out or going into debt for them.

And having that cushion in turn makes you more psychologically comfortable, makes you able to make other good decisions and avoid impulse purchases.

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Temporarily Able-Bodied

I appreciate the concept of “temporarily Able-Bodied”as a way to explain empathy to folks who need help with it.

As this Bluesky skeet says:

https://bsky.app/profile/loreleilee.bsky.social/post/3mdgcffmdcs2d

“Someday, you too will be disabled. Your life will be so much better then if you address your ableism now.”

The important thing to remember is that almost all of us will become disabled at least once before we die. It is extremely rare (and usually tragic) if someone dies before disability takes hold.

I’m someone who became disabled later in life: one disability is permanent (hearing loss), and others (like plantar fasciitis) come and go over the years. I can walk without pain now, for example, but there was a period of a few years when I couldn’t.

These disabilities are not “super powers.” They don’t make me special or better. They honestly suck. Nobody wants to live with constant pain.

But having them does not make me less than, or bad, or lazy, or wrong.

So, dear reader: I encourage you to not think of yourself as Able-Bodied, if you are, but rather as Temporarily Able-Bodied. It gives you a different perspective of looking at the world, and is a good way to practice your problem solving skills.