I think this is going to be a macro post, where I come back and add things as they occur to me.
This Slate column
My friend recently linked me to this, and man I got nothing. Just read it.
https://slate.com/life/2024/11/parenting-advice-friends-loneliness-village.html
These comics
I just got a Bluesky account and already the algorithm knows me.
https://bsky.app/profile/pervis.bsky.social/post/3lbqarh4u7k2p
https://bsky.app/profile/spookyforcefrancis.bsky.social/post/3lbshvyhf422b
Some thoughts
If you want people to show up for you, you have to show up for them. Modulo disability, being physically present really really matters. I can’t help my friend move but I helped her pack and purge and can store some of her stuff. I’ve babysat for friends without pay, including overnights, because that’s what friends do when they’re able. And when I was very sick last year, my people showed up for me.
I tolerate a lot of things in my life. I recognize that we can’t always build a village out of picture perfect people that we’ve cultivated like Sims, just like that columnist says. I’ve always been afraid to get close to my neighbors, because what if they’re awful? I’m stuck with them. But: maybe if we get close, they won’t be awful. Or maybe they were never awful to begin with.
For now: I’m just grateful for the friends I do have. Thank you for being with me.
Emilybook 