Tag: queer

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“The categories were made for man, not man for the categories”

Many years ago, my friend shared this Slate Star Codex essay with me. It really crystallized a lot of my feelings around the concepts of trans rights and how ultimately, we should be able to be good friends and neighbors to trans people even if we don’t understand them on a deep fundamental level.

It may not be the full-throated “how dare anyone believe anything else” defense of trans rights that many might prefer; but I actually find it more compelling for that very reason. (And it’s okay if your mileage varies on that. It’s not personal for me in the way it is for many of you.)

Give it a read.

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Reposting someone else’s thoughts on Skrmetti today

My friend shared this (itself a copy of another post), and I wanted to signal-boost it, because I think it’s important.


Skrmetti just came down and obviously it didn’t go our way, but listen to me. Listen.

I am not a parent but I have parents in my life and one thing I have learned from them is that young people will take their cue from you on how freaked out to be about things. If a young person falls down the best response is not to go “oh no oh my god you’re hurt,” because then they go “oh no oh my god I’m hurt” and it makes everything worse — the best response is to go “sick wipeout dude totally tubular” and high five them.

And the non-profit industrial complex invariably describes gender-affirming care for young people as “life-saving” because the subtext is “if trans young people can’t get puberty blockers they WILL kill themselves.”

Not having access to gender affirming care before puberty is not a death sentence BUT if we all uncritically repeat the fear that it is, the young people will take their cue from us on how freaked out to be, and they will believe that all they can do in response to Skrmetti is die.

It is really important right now that we make sure our trans young people hear other stories than that. They hear “there is a future for you” and “there is community for you” and “you don’t have to pass to be loved” and “not having access to gender affirming care before puberty IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE.”

That we show them that we are trans adults and we almost invariably didn’t have gender affirming care before puberty and we are loved and beautiful and happy. The story of trans joy and trans beloved community NEEDS to be louder than the story of trans suicidality today.

Our kids are depending on us to tell them the story they need to hear. Don’t let your panic override that responsibility.

There is a future for you. Your Elders survived this. Yes, it will suck more this way. But: this, too, shall pass; even if it does so like a motherfucking kidney stone.

Or, for the Cosmere fans in the audience: You will be warm again.

This Blue sky post may be the source:

https://bsky.app/profile/andyeyeballs.bsky.social/post/3lrvbrowlds2z

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Buttered sociolinguistics

So today I had what is possibly the most Emily interaction ever.

I was at a dinner party, and accidentally misgendered a friend of a friend. However, because we had already been talking about dairy allergies, and because I couldn’t hear very well, the person who corrected me sounded (to me) like she was saying “They don’t use ghee” instead of “They don’t use ‘he’.”

So, naturally, I assume she was talking about one of the NB people I had already met, and asked “Oh wow, do THEY have a casein allergy too?”

We sorted it out eventually, but wow that was embarrassing and also hilarious in its own way.

Bonus #showerthought: If ghee were a pronoun, then would the object case be “ghem,” and if so, is this Cetagandan propaganda?

Posted on

Buttered sociolinguistics

So today I had what is possibly the most Emily interaction ever.

I was at a dinner party, and accidentally misgendered a friend of a friend. However, because we had already been talking about dairy allergies, and because I couldn’t hear very well, the person who corrected me sounded (to me) like she was saying “They don’t use ghee” instead of “They don’t use ‘he’.”

So, naturally, I assume she was talking about one of the NB people I had already met, and asked “Oh wow, do THEY have a casein allergy too?”

We sorted it out eventually, but wow that was embarrassing and also hilarious in its own way.

Bonus #showerthought: If ghee were a pronoun, then would the object case be “ghem,” and if so, is this Cetagandan propaganda?

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Rainbow capitalism

Corporate Pride is an indicator of societal change, not a driver of societal change.

And I think a lot of people get those two mixed up.