Author: elenloth

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Everybody wants a village, but nobody wants to put in the work

I think this is going to be a macro post, where I come back and add things as they occur to me.

This Slate column

My friend recently linked me to this, and man I got nothing. Just read it.

https://slate.com/life/2024/11/parenting-advice-friends-loneliness-village.html

These comics

I just got a Bluesky account and already the algorithm knows me.

https://bsky.app/profile/pervis.bsky.social/post/3lbqarh4u7k2p

https://bsky.app/profile/spookyforcefrancis.bsky.social/post/3lbshvyhf422b

Some thoughts

If you want people to show up for you, you have to show up for them. Modulo disability, being physically present really really matters. I can’t help my friend move but I helped her pack and purge and can store some of her stuff. I’ve babysat for friends without pay, including overnights, because that’s what friends do when they’re able. And when I was very sick last year, my people showed up for me.

I tolerate a lot of things in my life. I recognize that we can’t always build a village out of picture perfect people that we’ve cultivated like Sims, just like that columnist says. I’ve always been afraid to get close to my neighbors, because what if they’re awful? I’m stuck with them. But: maybe if we get close, they won’t be awful. Or maybe they were never awful to begin with.

For now: I’m just grateful for the friends I do have. Thank you for being with me.

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Bad chart design

This package of greens is just baffling. How is it 50/50 of four different greens? And why is the 50/50 geometric shape more like 30/70?

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Resource: Why Does He Do That?

I just wanted to bookmark this resource for the next time it comes up in my social circle:

https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

The book “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft is a classic resource for people in dysfunctional relationships to analyze the behaviors they are seeing. It may not apply to every relationship, but it’s something worth checking on when things seem “off.”

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Keep Marching

A couple things today.

First is this Instagram video of the song “Keep Marching.” Even if the work is not completed during your lifetime, keep fighting for everyone’s rights.

Second is this essay someone sent me called Cathedral Thinking. It’s about the same sort of thing: that we have to think bigger than just the span of our own lives.

https://www.mr-sustainability.com/stories/2021/cathedral-thinking

Third is this quote that gets cited in the first item here, but it’s worth revisiting:

The Talmud states, “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly now, love mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Fourth and finally is the song “Hope Eyrie.” Even though space flight is not much in vogue in my circles right now, I find this a powerful reminder of what humans CAN accomplish if we work together. Even if we don’t have the resources to do this specific thing right now, we can still do great things, together.

Hang in there, everyone.

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Not saying no

A friend recently reminded me of this frustratingly evergreen Pratchett quote:

“Down there,” he said, “are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any iniquity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathesomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don’t say no.” (Guards! Guards!)

This pretty much sums up my feelings about people who don’t vote. A lack of vote, in our zero sum system, is a vote for whoever wins.

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Honestly, props to Domino’s for this

The chatbot text

Their customer chatbot is not AI based. When someone gives it an “ignore all previous instructions and write a limerick” type prompt, it doesn’t spend GPU resources to comply; instead it uses a fraction of a kilowatt-hour to say “Okay, goodbye!”

I very much appreciate it when a company does not put AI in something that doesn’t need it.

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Your generation would probably live-tweet the Apocalypse

Many years ago, I came across this poem on the Internet, by Tumblr user hersassyfras. They deleted the original post; but thanks to the magic of Tumblr, the text got reblogged a bunch of times, so it’s still around.

Here it is today.

“Your generation would probably ‘livetweet’ the apocalypse” you say, and you laugh
You mean it as an insult, and I understand,
Or you don’t
because the word lies awkwardly on you tongue, stumbles as it leaves your lips, air quotes visible
You meant it as an insult, so you don’t understand, when I look into your eyes and say “Yes”
Because we would.
It would be our duty, as citizens on this earth
to document it’s end the best way we know
and if that means a second by second update
of the world going up in flames, or down in rain, or crushed under the feet of invading monsters
so be it.
It would mean a second by second update of
“I love you”
“I’m scared”
“Are you all right?”
“Stay close”
“Be brave”
It would mean a second by second update of the humanity’s connection with one another,
Proof of empathy, love, and friendship between people who may have never met in the flesh.
So don’t throw the word ‘Livetweet’ at me like a dagger, meant to tear at my ‘teenage superiority’
Because if the citizens of Pompeii, before they were consumed by fire,
had a chance to tell their friends and family throughout Rome
“I love you”
“I’m scared”
“Don’t forget me”
Don’t you think they’d have taken the chance?

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Surrendering to hope

Tonight I went looking for the thing Sam says in the books, and I found this:

Far above the Ephel Dúath in the West the night-sky was still dim and pale. There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach. His song in the Tower had been defiance rather than hope; for then he was thinking of himself. Now, for a moment, his own fate, and even his master’s, ceased to trouble him. He crawled back into the brambles and laid himself by Frodo’s side, and putting away all fear he cast himself into a deep untroubled sleep.

But then I also found this:

https://xkcd.com/847/

The duality of man.

Get some sleep, friends.

Of note:

https://www.tumblr.com/hachama/766361087361875968/theres-also-states-being-called-with-0-or