This post contains significant spoilers from the book Oathbringer.
Continue reading “Dalinar’s speech from Oathbringer”Social Time and Normative Time
Despite the fact that I have a lot of trouble being on time to things (probably due to a little bit of time blindness/optimism about how long it’ll take to do stuff), I have a very Normative sense of time: things happen at an established time, and we should attempt to meet that time/deadline to the best of our ability.
My friend told me a while back about another way of viewing time – Social Time. This is the way of thinking about time that’s often assigned a nationality (Moroccan time, Greek time, Island time, whatever), and it’s associated with just accepting that things happen when they happen and not stressing too much about running later than anticipated.
I find Social Time very anxiety inducing; this might be related to the Ask/Guess dichotomy, in that I like to have things clearly defined (even if I fail to meet them). Hard to say for sure.
I also have this Tweet bookmarked from a while ago; let’s see if embeds still work.
https://twitter.com/the_wilderless/status/1578258844605730816?s=20&t=BfpB_R4f5-Hz_SEOHkNY_w
Everybody wants a village, but nobody wants to put in the work
I think this is going to be a macro post, where I come back and add things as they occur to me.
This Slate column
My friend recently linked me to this, and man I got nothing. Just read it.
https://slate.com/life/2024/11/parenting-advice-friends-loneliness-village.html
These comics
I just got a Bluesky account and already the algorithm knows me.
https://bsky.app/profile/pervis.bsky.social/post/3lbqarh4u7k2p
https://bsky.app/profile/spookyforcefrancis.bsky.social/post/3lbshvyhf422b
Some thoughts
If you want people to show up for you, you have to show up for them. Modulo disability, being physically present really really matters. I can’t help my friend move but I helped her pack and purge and can store some of her stuff. I’ve babysat for friends without pay, including overnights, because that’s what friends do when they’re able. And when I was very sick last year, my people showed up for me.
I tolerate a lot of things in my life. I recognize that we can’t always build a village out of picture perfect people that we’ve cultivated like Sims, just like that columnist says. I’ve always been afraid to get close to my neighbors, because what if they’re awful? I’m stuck with them. But: maybe if we get close, they won’t be awful. Or maybe they were never awful to begin with.
For now: I’m just grateful for the friends I do have. Thank you for being with me.
Lobstering is an actual free market?
I just watched this video from the lobster guy. Apparently in Maine all the boats have to be owner operated, and pay for the crew is done by shares of the total boat’s profit. That’s really good, and IMO very fair. More businesses should be run like this.
The “I don’t like what you like” game
This Instagram video is an amazing example of how to converse with someone who doesn’t share your interests!
If you don’t like what someone else likes, that’s okay! Ask them what they like best about it, or talk about it generally, or use the “yes, and” principle to say “oh that’s cool! I like this other thing, myself.”
Bad chart design
This package of greens is just baffling. How is it 50/50 of four different greens? And why is the 50/50 geometric shape more like 30/70?
Resource: Why Does He Do That?
I just wanted to bookmark this resource for the next time it comes up in my social circle:
https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
The book “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft is a classic resource for people in dysfunctional relationships to analyze the behaviors they are seeing. It may not apply to every relationship, but it’s something worth checking on when things seem “off.”
Keep Marching
A couple things today.
First is this Instagram video of the song “Keep Marching.” Even if the work is not completed during your lifetime, keep fighting for everyone’s rights.
Second is this essay someone sent me called Cathedral Thinking. It’s about the same sort of thing: that we have to think bigger than just the span of our own lives.
https://www.mr-sustainability.com/stories/2021/cathedral-thinking
Third is this quote that gets cited in the first item here, but it’s worth revisiting:
The Talmud states, “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly now, love mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Fourth and finally is the song “Hope Eyrie.” Even though space flight is not much in vogue in my circles right now, I find this a powerful reminder of what humans CAN accomplish if we work together. Even if we don’t have the resources to do this specific thing right now, we can still do great things, together.
Hang in there, everyone.
Not saying no
A friend recently reminded me of this frustratingly evergreen Pratchett quote:
“Down there,” he said, “are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any iniquity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathesomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don’t say no.” (Guards! Guards!)
This pretty much sums up my feelings about people who don’t vote. A lack of vote, in our zero sum system, is a vote for whoever wins.
Honestly, props to Domino’s for this
Their customer chatbot is not AI based. When someone gives it an “ignore all previous instructions and write a limerick” type prompt, it doesn’t spend GPU resources to comply; instead it uses a fraction of a kilowatt-hour to say “Okay, goodbye!”
I very much appreciate it when a company does not put AI in something that doesn’t need it.
