When you take precautions so that other people can’t hear you going at it, that’s called OPSEX.
Today I learned: History!
I didn’t realize that General Pulaski of Pulaski Highway (and also the Revolutionary War) is theorized to have been intersex! Neat!
Grief
I am missing my friend who passed in 2023 today. She was a support to me during my divorce, and I guess it’s that season again.
To old friends, absent lovers, and the Season of Mists.
How well do you know email validation rules?
Amazing quiz, no notes.
I scored 15/21 on https://e-mail.wtf and all I got was this lousy text to share on social media.
Time types
Several years ago, a friend introduced me to the concept of “Social Time vs Normative Time.”
“Normative Time” is the idea that things happen at certain times: dinner is at 6, the meetup officially starts at 5, things like that. It’s generally considered to be the default time system in America.
“Social Time” is something that I’ve more often seen in the context of specific places: Moroccan Time, Island Time, Greek Time. Time is more fluid; you get there when you get there; you don’t stress if you’re late or your friend is late.
I, myself, am a Normative Time person who is very bad at it.
Today I was reminded of the Captain Awkward column on Perpetual Time Optimism because Reddit shared it with me. It gets a bit spicy in there (in both).
In general, in my life, I try to strike a balance between both types of time. I’m sympathetic to the time blind people; I’m often late to things, and it takes me a LOT of effort to do all the things to get to something early, especially if it’s already early in the morning. But I also want to be able to do things like “see a movie” and “eat at a restaurant” and so forth! So in general I try not to invite the very time blind person to things where “being late” would put a cramp in someone ELSE’S day.
House resource: This to That
An unfortunate incident with the microwave led me to ask for advice from friends, which turned up this website:
https://www.thistothat.com/index.shtml
Pretty cool!
Making plans when your friends are anxious
I just saw a life tip on Reddit that I thought I’d share here!
When you’re confirming plans with someone, don’t say “Are we still on for tomorrow?” This can sometimes send them into a spiral thinking that you would actually rather they cancel.
Instead, say “I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!” This lets them know that you aren’t secretly hoping they’ll cancel.
Is this a bit silly? Yes. But brains are dumb; and cell phones have made it so easy to flake out on plans that I think it’s worth changing our speaking structure to account for it.
Omelas
Many years ago (high school?), I read “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas,” by Ursula K. LeGuin.
I have been appreciating (perhaps “enjoying” is the wrong word) the recent short stories that build on this concept.
Why Don’t We Just Kill the Kid In the Omelas Hole
by Isabel J. Kim
https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/kim_02_24/
The Ones Who Stay and Fight
by N.K. Jemisin
https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-ones-who-stay-and-fight/
They are worthy reads.
I think of Omelas as a sort of koan; I think this is because I cannot bear the responsibility of what it would mean to accept the reality of the world we live in. I can try to reduce my dependency on items manufactured with slave labor, my need for things that objectively make the world a worse place; but I don’t know if I can rid myself of all that entirely.
I am not a follower of Christ. I have not sold all my possessions to take up my cross and follow him. I chose a different path, many years ago. Around the same time as I read Omelas, in fact.
But I can still try to get as close as I can to that ideal, in reasonable small incremental steps.
It’s not enough. But it’s not nothing, either.
Burned Haystack dating
Today I learned that this concept has a name – Burned Haystack. (I’ve heard of it before, but it didn’t have a name.)
Basically, the idea is to be as raw and honest and true as possible on your dating profile, so that you don’t waste time with incompatible people. It might take longer to find a person who meets your parameters, but they’ll be a better fit for your life and goals.
The metaphor is that if you’re looking for a needle in a haystack, it can be better to just set the hay on fire and then look for the needle in the ashes.
20+ years ago, advice columnist Carolyn Hax called hairy legs “a built-in doink filter.” I’ve always remembered that.
Potioncraft
Last week, I finished playing the game Potioncraft. It was honestly exactly the sort of cozy little dopamine hit I needed during the end of the summer and all the changes and transitions going on.
It’s also the first game I’ve ever 100%’d on Steam, or possibly ever. (I don’t tend to finish games; even Spirit Tracks, my favorite Zelda game, isn’t complete because I couldn’t fight Ganon or whoever it was. Gosh, was that really 15 years ago?)
In any case. If you like crafting sims that are navigational puzzle games, give Potioncraft a shot.
Emilybook 