Take people at their word

I think one of the most important life skills I have cultivated is the ability to just take people at their word. To believe what they say.

Doing this requires some degree of “if you get hurt, I’m okay with that.” You have to turn down the empathy dial here. If a person lies to you (whether on purpose lying or not) about being okay when they’re really not okay? You have to be comfortable with the fact that any hurt they experience from you taking them at their word is their own fault.

But they will be hurt nonetheless. Even though it’s not your fault. And you have to deal with that.

Because you know what’s worse, in the end?

Not respecting your friends enough to believe them when they tell you things.

Being so arrogant that you think you know their inner mind better than they themselves do.

And the pretzel logic we all get into when we try to anticipate and guess what everyone actually means, rather than just taking them at their word, hurts everyone involved.

So just…believe people when they tell you things. If they lie, return the awkwardness to sender. You did nothing wrong by believing them.