Ten pounds of personality in a five-pound bag
I was chatting with a friend about the air haze, and he mentioned wanting to build one of those homemade air filters out of box fans and filters.
But he couldn’t remember the name (Corsi-Rosenthal box), so he hazarded “Rimsky-Korsakov box?”
This reminded me so much of the Benedict Cumberbatch Problem that I had to share it.
It’s been a running gag, in almost every friend group I’ve had, that I have trouble with pop culture references. I didn’t have cable television growing up, and I was also pretty relentlessly counter-cultural as a child. As a result, I’m missing big gaps of pop culture references.
A common refrain at social gatherings (in person or online) is “oh, I haven’t seen that movie.” (We actually have a whole spreadsheet of “Movies Emily needs to watch.”) The same usually goes for pop music, many works of classic literature, etc.
Tonight, at board games, one person started humming a tune, and I recognized it and sang the whole chorus and one verse of the song (We Like To Party by the Vengaboys). My friend was a little bit taken aback by it, and I was like “Oh, yeah! The Vengaboys!” and he was like “Do you mean the theme from the Six Flags commercial?” and I said “What Six Flags commercial?”
So. Like I said. Weirdly gappy knowledge. 😁
There are only three stories: a stranger comes to town, someone goes on a journey, and Godzilla vs King Kong.
Leo Tolstoy, per the Internet
In my life right now, there are only three video games: Pokemon, Animal Crossing, and Zelda.
And I just got the Dream Home in the latter, so for a while now there are only two stories. Time to SELL ALL MY GEMS AND FURNISH THIS HOUSE BAYBEEEE
One of the things I’ve read that really changed my way of thinking about the world was the essay commonly known as Spoon Theory. I spent basically my entire youth as a completely able-bodied person, and while I had theoretical compassion for people with disabilities, I had no gut level understanding of what it was like to live with a disability. Reading this essay in college (or possibly shortly thereafter? I can’t recall exactly when it was) helped me understand why so many people couldn’t “just” do something or other.
Understanding disability is just one step along the road to understanding the whole system of intersectionality and how everybody’s lives are (or can be) different from one’s own. Not every essay will resonate with every person, and that’s okay. I hope this one helps you understand it a little bit better.
As I find them along the way, I’ll try to add links to this post to other versions of Spoon Theory that I’ve read, written by people who found the original metaphor to be limiting or inaccurate. One such alternative metaphor is a D&D one that uses “Spell Slots” as the day-limited resource that a disabled person must shepherd.
And that reminds me that some people with chronic illness refer to themselves/each other with the affectionate term “spoonie.” Now I’m wondering if a goofy bard with a chronic illness would refer to themself as a Spoony Spoonie.
This column is a great defense of having your own sense of taste or style or whatever.
As a side note, I would like to observe that the author’s use of “basic” doesn’t line up exactly with the usage that implies “middle to upper class white woman with UGGs and a cup of Starbucks.” Here, the given examples are a little lower class than that.
Which is NORMAL. Living like that is NORMAL. This is how most people live their lives.
A few years ago, I remember reading an essay about a personality dichotomy that the author called Explorer/Exploiter.
The idea is that most people fall into one of these two categories (though of course humans are complex, and it’s never just that simple).
An Explorer is someone who tries new things to see if they like them. Trying new things makes them feel excited and good.
An Exploiter is someone who finds the thing they like, then sticks with it.
You might see this, for example, with restaurants. I often find myself going back to my old standbys, rather than trying new places, because I know what’s good at the places I already like.
But I’m trying, lately, to get out and try new things. There’s nothing wrong with having favorites! But I don’t want to miss something else that I might like even more, too.
A similar concept came up in a Carolyn Hax column at some point: a person wrote in and referred to “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” And I take STRONG issue with that framing. In my mind, if you don’t stop growing, you’re a cancer.
There’s nothing wrong with healthy growth. But growth does not need to be constant and unending, either. It’s okay to have dormant periods. It’s okay to just do things you like, because you’re good at them. (I also have this soapbox about jobs. I hate the idea that it’s “stagnation” just because you’re in the same position for a little while.)
I don’t think I had realized this before: private schools and charter schools are not subject to the Americans with Disabilities Act.
Now, I haven’t fact checked that yet. However, assuming it’s true: I think that that is wrong. I don’t have foolproof ideas on how to fix it; I just think that private and charter schools *should* be required to all submit to the ADA.
I’ve met at least one family that does private schooling *because* their child is disabled and the public school can’t accommodate her as well. And I’m glad schools like that exist too.
Saw a TikTok today that explains Misogynoir (the name for the specific oppression that Black women face) in a very simple way (“for cavemen”).
At some point I’ll write a little more about intersectionality and what that means, but for now, I’ll just share this.
I’ve never been a big person for flowers and things of that nature; I like house plants, but flowers just isn’t one of my love languages.
But one thing I learned when I adopted my cats and started googling “what’s safe?” is that lilies, as well as other bulbs like tulips and daffodils, are extremely toxic to cats!
Here’s a TikTok from a veterinary practice about lily exposure. Content notes: cute cat, IV, and the cat survived.
So, if I ever make one of those pat little “how to date me” guides, item #1 would be “if flowers: nothing toxic to cats.”
At some point, I’m going to write a comprehensive summary of my buying habits, which goes something like “you get what you pay for; unless you don’t.” About how some luxury items are worth it, and some are just a waste of money, and everyone is going to draw their line in a different place. About how most good quality products aren’t cheap, but we don’t need to drown ourselves in a sea of Vebelen Goods either.
But for today, I just want to highlight the fact that I’m really happy I buy (some of) my coffee from a company that is focused on preserving bird habitat.
Emilybook 